12.17.2013

The One Where She Throws Turtles...

We were going out of town for a week, and I was desperate to get my garden planted before we left.  I worked hard the whole week before and got all my seedlings in the ground.

Anxious to return and check on the progress, we arrived back from our vacation to discover that the plants were all FULL-GROWN (in a week, yes), loaded with mature fruit, and the whole garden was lush and plentiful.  Delighted (though a bit astonished), I started running towards the garden to begin plucking its treasures for my table...

...and that's when I saw them.

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Snapping turtles were roaming my beautiful garden...they were everywhere.  And they were not alone...

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They had these long-neck turtles along too...

I continued towards the garden...they were turtles after all, and I was a lot bigger and definitely faster than them.

As I entered the garden to begin picking the fruit, the turtles slowly started coming towards me...

No big deal...just ignore them...

Wait!  Is it just me, or is that one gaining speed?  Yes, that one...that HUGE one is definitely running towards me...and it doesn't look friendly.

Friends...I was chased out of my own garden by a turtle.

I can't believe I just typed that.

After repeated attempts at entering the garden, I continued to be chased out.  The turtles were not backing down...

Obviously they didn't know with whom they were dealing...

The next morning, I awoke determined to conquer the turtles.  I crept towards the garden very slowly and quietly, and I managed to sneak up behind the first turtle I saw.  With my super-human strength, I grabbed it from behind, one hand on either side of its shell, and hurled that thing as hard as I could into the woods, where it landed with a thud and promptly said, "Oof."

I spotted another...I crept up behind that one, lifted it above my head and catapulted it in the same direction as the previous one.  With each turtle, I gained a sense of victory and new found strength.  I did not stop until every single turtle in my garden was returned (with force) to the woods, and I was again Queen of my garden.

I did indeed spend the better part of the night chuckin' turtles...

...and then I woke up.



2 comments:

Cassandra Jones said...

Hahahahaha! I remember when I was a child my mom stopped the car to move a large turtle out of the road, and it turned out to be a snapping turtle. She tried pushing it from behind and it's long neck whipped around and attempted to bite her. It then proceeded to chase her all the back into the car! It was terrifying. End result - I am afraid of turtles. :)
Cassandra

Angie said...

Been watching the show where they "bare-hand" alligators lately? :)

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