The last 2 months have been some of the toughest of my life, if not THE toughest. This paragraph from the book pretty much sums it up.
"God worked through this child to teach me many life lessons. On different days I laughed, cried, learned the necessity of silence and solitude, released control, allowed others to encourage me, and saw my faith soar. I tasted humility and surrender, and I learned what it means to enjoy every moment. I learned how precious praying friends are, and I learned how faithful and loving God is to care about me personally. I didn't know what the future held, but I was certain of WHO held the future."
It is HARD to trust God. It is HARD to realize that He does in fact know what is best for us, even when it seems that it couldn't possibly be a good thing! One day last week, my daughter was VERY tired and needed a nap. I knew she needed a nap, but in her mind, she WANTED to keep playing and doing what she thought was best. But, she was being continually frustrated and just all around grumpy. When I mentioned the idea of a nap, it was NOT PRETTY. Complete meltdown. Over a little nap. Yowza. But, I gently picked her up and carried her back to her room, kissed her sweet little forehead, told her I loved her, and laid her down in her bed where she promptly fell asleep in about 2 minutes. literally. As I was working around the house, I was re-playing the whole incident in my head and I realized that when it comes to MY life...I'm the little girl who doesn't want to do what God tells me to, or what He thinks is best... And, yeah, I get pretty bent out of shape over what are really small things, but seem like big things. But, He gently carries me and reminds me of His love for me. It was a pretty clear picture for me. That doesn't really make it any easier, but I keep coming back to it when things seem like they aren't going the way that I think they should. God has a plan, and His plan is perfect.
1 comment:
Sometimes (but not always, like when our 21 year old friend got cancer) God works to build our faith slowly. I don't say that to be a discouragement that a bigger trial is coming, but I know going through the trials of last year have helped me go through this pregnancy with more trust. There has been plenty of worry/confession/belief, but once you've gone through what you thought was the worst possible thing, you know that the Lord was THERE, and so it's not something to be dreaded. That said, I don't think I will feel fully confident that everything is "okay" with this baby until I am holding him or her, but I just have to point back to how good and wise God was in our trials before, and how He never changes. He will carry us if it happens again. Remind me of that when I'm having a hard day!!! :)
Another good resource for grieving (or helping those who are):
http://mollypiper.com/how-to-help-your-grieving-friend-the-series/
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