on a stormy afternoon in may...

...we're under a severe thunderstorm warning...the first in 4 weeks. i had no idea it would be this hard. i keep hearing the whisper of, "oh ye of little faith..." i am the fishermen in the boat with Jesus, today. i am continually hearing His gentle voice, "do not be anxious..." but...IT. IS. HARD.

4 weeks ago yesterday, 1 month ago tomorrow a F2/F3 (there is some debate...) tornado ripped through our neighborhood, literally passing through our backyard, leaving debris and destruction

the wind is picking up...and the knot is my stomach is tightening. to think i used to want to be a "storm chaser..."

we were blessed...when i look at pictures of other places in nearby cities and states, and then those most recently from missouri, i have nothing, NOTHING, to complain about. and i'm not complaining. but, i'm not denying that it was really scary...and the thought of it happening again is really scary. "I will never leave you nor forsake you..." (I know Lord...I know....help my unbelief, please.)

strong winds now, heavy downpours of rain, hail beating down...

and my daughter sleeps peacefully through it all. i want THAT peace...i want to rest in the arms of my savior and know, really KNOW that i am safe. i believe it, but my faith is weak. "I can do ALL things through Christ..."

as i've watched the cleanup, the rebuilding, and the restoration starting to take place in our neighborhood, it has been a constant reminder of our dirty, destroyed hearts, and the work that God does in them, little by little, preparing us for eternity with Him.

my friend from down the street, the one who is living in a rental home because hers was destroyed by the tornado, she says she'd take the tornado again because of the opportunities it has provided to show God's grace to others. her faith is a testimony to me. truly, THAT is a picture of God's grace in our lives. and i have a long way to go. but, HE is faithful, even when we are not. HE is faithful, not because we believe, but because HE is GOD, and He is GOOD (not safe, narnia fans, but GOOD).

it's calmer now...but the sky is still growling, and i feel the knot loosening... i write these things to remind myself to "cast all these cares upon Him..." another test of faith on this stormy afternoon... and i'm finding myself increasingly grateful that i HAVE a God...THE GOD...to whom i can turn...all the time...not just the "stormy" times. and that He has seen fit to rescue me from the destruction and debris of the "tornado" of sin.

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