Ahem.
I am cheap. There I said it... Cheap is not always better. I repeat, NOT. ALWAYS. BETTER. In this case, definitely NOT. BETTER.
I looked online for recipes for wraps and found many, but did not have some of the ingredients needed, so I found some substitutions...since I didn't have clay, the mixture was watery so I decided to use towels for applying it, and since it was GREEN, I decided disposable paper towels would be best, just in case. This all worked great, aside from the solution dripping down my entire body (instead of just my stomach) and generally getting all over everything in the room.
The primary ingredient in these things is salt (of some form or another)...Such a concentrated amount of salt meant that the drips left white residue everywhere. My legs looked like some form of a diseased zebra...
I tried another mixture as well, which had coffee grounds as the main ingredient...do you have any idea how messy coffee grounds can be?
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And, in all my coordinated-saran-wrapping of myself, I somehow managed to completely wrap one of my legs WITHOUT putting the coffee grounds in the wrap... yeah...that's going to be effective.
And that blade strip on the saran wrap box...that thing is sharp, y'all. ouch.
So, I finally get everything in place, all saran wrap is secure and I'm dressed in an old T-shirt and running shorts and I definitely realize that I need to use the bathroom....but seeing as I just spent 45 minutes wrapping myself up, that's just not going to happen until after the next 45 minutes of soaking is finished...
No problem, I'll just go sit down and rest, drink some more water as suggested, and do a few things online.
So...I had wrapped my legs pretty well...with multiple layers of wrap...which is MADE to stick to itself...
Do I even need to tell you how well walking went?!?
Or maybe I should describe to you my 4 year old daughter's face when she saw me....?
No. You have imaginations. Anything you could come up with is probably closer to accurate than I care to reveal.
So, I make it to the other end of the house, get settled on the couch with the laptop, reach for my water bottle, because despite my previously mentioned needs, I am thirsty after all that work, and realize that my water bottle is at the other end of the house...where it will remain for the next 45 minutes while I try to block out the fact that I simultaneously have conflicting needs.
At this point, I realize the predicament I am in and succomb to the giggles I have been suppressing. And write the blog post you all enjoyed yesterday.
Blog post finished, a few e-mails taken care of, and my soaking time is up, time to go figure out how to unwrap....
......................
Except that I have had a WARM laptop sitting on my saran-wrapped lap for the past 45 minutes.....
.......................
Yeah....it stuck...and the saran-wrap had pretty much melted to itself. The saran wrap that had the coffee grounds in it....
I did manage to make it back to the "scene of the crime" and I did manage to get all of the saran wrap and goop off of my body, and I did manage to clean up the room before my husband came home from work...
....and I will NOT be trying the home-wrap-system again. EVER.
EVER.
As for the benefits of the wrap...I have yet to realize any. During the process of the wrap itself, I did lose about 2 pounds, but I'm pretty sure that was from all of the effort exerted in the process. And I drank at least that much in water yesterday. I was mildly thirsty throughout the day yesterday, but last night I could not seem to quench my thirst, so perhaps that was the salt helping me to detox. I felt normal all day yesterday until I got in bed and then my entire body (joints) hurt and I had trouble getting comfortable...whether or not it was connected I do not know, but thankfully it eased and I was able to sleep. Today I have not noticed any difference although I have continued to drink lots of water.
Never a dull moment around here.
